English as a Second Language

I know English is my second language, but is it everyone’s?

“Dude, check out my new ride.”, “That’s dope, dawg!”  (I think it means, “Hey, check out my new car.”, “It’s awesome, man!”)

“Dat bitch be bangin’, dawg.  I saw you choppin’ it up!”  (I think it means, “That girl is fine, man.  I saw you talking to her!”)

“Bitch, I got a new gig and imma be makin’ bank.”, “Shut up!”  (I think it means, “Girl, I got a new job and I’m going to get paid a lot.”, “Really?  That’s great!”)

Dude used to be someone that worked on a ranch.  Ride used to be something you did in your parent’s car. Dope was a not so bright person or marijuana (which made you act like a dope).  Dawg was what someone with a Southern drawl called a canine.  Bitch was either a female dog or a mean girl.  Bangin’ was something you did to your head on the desk when you failed a test.  Choppin’ it up was something you did to wood.  Gig used to be a two wheeled one horse carriage.  Bank used to be a place where you kept your money.  Dat was an abbreviation for “digital audiotape” and imma was never a word.

And when the hell did “Shut Up!” become synonymous with “Really?” or “Are you kidding?”?

Now, I realize that every generation’s youth has its own vocabulary.  I think it’s our way of showing our parents how un-hip they are compared to us.  I know in my generation we gave words like “bad”, “crazy”, “psychedelic”, and “groovy” meanings not found in the dictionary.  I know my generation also used phrases like “Outta sight!”, “Can you dig it?”, “Far out!”, and “Dream on!”  But we also read books, wrote essays in school, and learned the language.

But “Shut up!”?  That was an insult!  To have someone tell us to shut up was like saying that our thoughts had no value.  For some reason, this is the phrase that bothers me most.

Every time I hear that phrase used in its modern day connotation, the hairs on the back of my neck stand straight out.  Every time I hear it used in this manner, I want to grab the user by the shoulders and shake them violently while screaming; “What the f*#k is wrong with you?  Shut up does not mean really!  Learn to speak the f*#king language!”

My biggest fear is that, with our education system in its current state, our youth are not learning our language.  At least not in the way I feel it should be learned and used.  Mind you, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with our youthful use of the current slang as long as the user recognizes that it is slang and not proper English.  Except for the phrase, “Shut up!”  In my mind this phrase is still an insult.

My thesis is not without empirical proof.  One doesn’t have to do more than look at the latest postings and statuses on your friend's wall in Facebook to see what I mean.  Misspellings, syntactical errors, grammatical errors, and unintelligible dribble abound.   And it’s not just our youth.

I am constantly in awe at the poor grammar, spelling, and syntax used by people from my generation and older.  I get e-mails from managers and directors, people with Masters and other advanced degrees, which couldn’t score more than a C- in what we used to call dumbbell English.

Maybe I’m old fashioned, but I still believe that we should learn the proper use of our language and use it that way.  It is a rich language full of nouns, verbs, adjectives, adverbs, synonyms, antonyms, homonyms, and many other wonderful things that make it so very interesting and fun.

I know I am not faultless in this endeavor as I am only human and thus prone to making mistakes.  However, I still feel a certain shame when I see something I wrote looking like it was written by someone for whom English is a second language.  I know many of you have seen several versions of my postings in your e-mails because when I type something on your wall or comment on your status and I spot a mistake, I delete the original message and post another.

I know English is my second language.  I just hope everyone else gets a second chance.