An Apple a Day...

After four months of laziness and inactivity that I kept justifying as necessary for my recovery from my hamstring injury, I put my foot down and got back to the gym.

All the way there I was searching through my mind for any excuse I could use to talk myself out of it.  Alas, nothing came to mind and I found myself walking through the gym doors.

I headed straight upstairs for the treadmills.  I stepped on two that appeared to be out of order, and I almost seized on that as my excuse to go home.  However, as luck would have it, the third one I tried worked.  I hopped on and began my cardio warm-up walking at 3 miles per hour on a 15% incline.

The chosen treadmill was up in the corner against the railing so I had an unobstructed view of the spectacle unfolding below.  A myriad of attractive young women in short shorts and tight tops showing off their perfectly sculpted figures while milling about not breaking a sweat, but instead doing their best to attract the attention of any number of Hercules wannabe’s as the later went about demonstrating amazing feats of strength.

I spent the first 5 minutes on the treadmill observing and thinking about how much stamina, strength, and endurance I’d lost in four months of inactivity.  I started wondering whether I was going to survive the workout.  Ten minutes into it, I had already convinced myself it was going to be a short 15 minute warm-up and a quick run through the weights.

That’s when I saw her.  Right across from me walking up the stairs was a woman about 5 years younger than me, about 6 inches shorter, who outweighed me by 40 or 50 pounds.  She appeared to be working on her cardio warm-up which consisted of nothing more than laboriously walking up and down the stairs painfully slow and with frequent stops.

I was immediately embarrassed at what a baby I was being.  Here I am, in relatively good shape, working harder at looking for excuses for not working out than actually working out.  All the while, across from me, was a woman who struggled for breath with each step, doing what she needed to do with a courage and determination that I seemed to lack.  Then, as if to underscore my shame, she limped to the front desk and met her personal trainer for a strength training session.  With a smile on her face, she followed the trainer to one of the machines and began working out.

How pathetic are we who look for and find these excuses?  I got angry at myself for having been such a wimp about my workout.

I stopped looking for excuses and drew on the woman’s courage to turn my warm-up into a 30 minute stint on the treadmill.  I then headed downstairs and set out to work my upper body with more intensity than normal.  I worked on all the same machines I normally use, but I increased the weight, added a third set instead of my normal two, and did each set until I couldn’t do the weight anymore.

As I was nearing the end of my strength training I noticed the woman finish her strength workout and proceed upstairs to the very treadmill I was on earlier and continue her workout.

I don’t know if I will ever see her at the gym again, but I can assure you I will think of her often.  That woman who struggled to breathe with each movement, with the courage of a price fighter, and the determination of a champion will forever be on my mind when I go to the gym.

That apple shaped woman will forever keep me focused on my workout.  I think the courage and determination I draw from her will be the apple I need to help keep my doctor away.

English as a Second Language

I know English is my second language, but is it everyone’s?

“Dude, check out my new ride.”, “That’s dope, dawg!”  (I think it means, “Hey, check out my new car.”, “It’s awesome, man!”)

“Dat bitch be bangin’, dawg.  I saw you choppin’ it up!”  (I think it means, “That girl is fine, man.  I saw you talking to her!”)

“Bitch, I got a new gig and imma be makin’ bank.”, “Shut up!”  (I think it means, “Girl, I got a new job and I’m going to get paid a lot.”, “Really?  That’s great!”)

Dude used to be someone that worked on a ranch.  Ride used to be something you did in your parent’s car. Dope was a not so bright person or marijuana (which made you act like a dope).  Dawg was what someone with a Southern drawl called a canine.  Bitch was either a female dog or a mean girl.  Bangin’ was something you did to your head on the desk when you failed a test.  Choppin’ it up was something you did to wood.  Gig used to be a two wheeled one horse carriage.  Bank used to be a place where you kept your money.  Dat was an abbreviation for “digital audiotape” and imma was never a word.

And when the hell did “Shut Up!” become synonymous with “Really?” or “Are you kidding?”?

Now, I realize that every generation’s youth has its own vocabulary.  I think it’s our way of showing our parents how un-hip they are compared to us.  I know in my generation we gave words like “bad”, “crazy”, “psychedelic”, and “groovy” meanings not found in the dictionary.  I know my generation also used phrases like “Outta sight!”, “Can you dig it?”, “Far out!”, and “Dream on!”  But we also read books, wrote essays in school, and learned the language.

But “Shut up!”?  That was an insult!  To have someone tell us to shut up was like saying that our thoughts had no value.  For some reason, this is the phrase that bothers me most.

Every time I hear that phrase used in its modern day connotation, the hairs on the back of my neck stand straight out.  Every time I hear it used in this manner, I want to grab the user by the shoulders and shake them violently while screaming; “What the f*#k is wrong with you?  Shut up does not mean really!  Learn to speak the f*#king language!”

My biggest fear is that, with our education system in its current state, our youth are not learning our language.  At least not in the way I feel it should be learned and used.  Mind you, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with our youthful use of the current slang as long as the user recognizes that it is slang and not proper English.  Except for the phrase, “Shut up!”  In my mind this phrase is still an insult.

My thesis is not without empirical proof.  One doesn’t have to do more than look at the latest postings and statuses on your friend's wall in Facebook to see what I mean.  Misspellings, syntactical errors, grammatical errors, and unintelligible dribble abound.   And it’s not just our youth.

I am constantly in awe at the poor grammar, spelling, and syntax used by people from my generation and older.  I get e-mails from managers and directors, people with Masters and other advanced degrees, which couldn’t score more than a C- in what we used to call dumbbell English.

Maybe I’m old fashioned, but I still believe that we should learn the proper use of our language and use it that way.  It is a rich language full of nouns, verbs, adjectives, adverbs, synonyms, antonyms, homonyms, and many other wonderful things that make it so very interesting and fun.

I know I am not faultless in this endeavor as I am only human and thus prone to making mistakes.  However, I still feel a certain shame when I see something I wrote looking like it was written by someone for whom English is a second language.  I know many of you have seen several versions of my postings in your e-mails because when I type something on your wall or comment on your status and I spot a mistake, I delete the original message and post another.

I know English is my second language.  I just hope everyone else gets a second chance.

The Grass is Always Greener

How many times have we been stopped in traffic on the freeway with the lane next to us going 50 miles an hour?  So we change lanes only to have our new lane come to a complete halt and the lane we were in starts moving at 50 miles an hour.

How many times have we been in a slow line at the market and we moved to the line with only one person in it only to find that person has a stack of coupons and is writing a check?  And while we wait for coupon man, we see the people two carts behind us in the first line pay for their groceries and leave.

Catholics describe it as one of the seven deadly sins; Envy.  I call it impatience.  The old saying is “The Grass is Always Greener on the Other Side of the Fence”.

At some point in our lives we all feel like every time we look over the fence at our neighbor’s yard his grass is greener than ours.  So we become envious of our neighbor and impatience forces us to look for a quick solution.  The obviously quick solution is to move into our neighbor’s house because his grass is already green.

So we move in, and we continue to do what we’ve always done.  We admire the lawn for the first couple of weeks.  However, we forget to check the sprinklers, we don’t bother cutting it, grubbing it, or fertilizing it.  In essence, we ignore it like we did our lawn.  Soon, our neighbor’s lawn (our old lawn) looks better than ours.

We then lose hope and become disillusioned because our new grass doesn’t look as good as it used to, but our neighbor’s grass looks great.

What we fail to see is that our “happy-go-lucky” neighbor, with his good job, nice car, and beautifully green grass, watered his grass regularly.  He spent every weekend cutting, weeding, and grubbing it.  He fertilized it once a month, and spent little time enjoying.

We spend so much time preoccupied with the grass on the other side of the fence that we fail to see the grass on our side.  We fail to see that regular watering, fertilizing, grubbing, and cutting will make our grass look just as good.  We fail to see that it’s not the location, but our actions that makes a difference in our grass.

The bottom line is that jumping over the wall without changing your ways will only result in a new dead lawn and the cycle of frustration and envy begins anew.

So, the next time you look at your neighbor’s yard with envy, ask yourself; Am I watering my grass enough?  Am I cutting, weeding, fertilizing, and grubbing my grass as much as I should?

If the answer to any of these questions is “no”, go back and take care of your lawn before you try to convince others that the grass is greener on the other side of the fence.

American Extremist

Every day we see something in the papers or hear something on the news about some Muslim extremist.  In the last two months alone:

·         August 17, 2010 – Baghdad, Iraq. At least 59 people killed and more than 100 injured in a suicide attack on an army recruitment center.

·         August 31, 2010 – Kiryat Arba, West Bank. Four Israeli civilians, including a pregnant woman, were killed by Hamas militants.

·         September 1, 2010 – Lahoire, Pakistan.   Three bombings kill 25 and injure 170.

·         September 1, 2010 – Kiryat Arba, West Bank.  Nineteen people died when a suicide bomber rammed an explosives-laden truck into a police station.

·         September 3, 2010 – Quetta, Pakistan. Two suicide bombings against a Shiite's Quds Day procession and an Ahmadi mosque kill 73 people.

·         September 6, 2010 – Khyber Pakhtunkhwa, Pakistan. Nineteen people died when a suicide bomber rammed an explosives-laden truck into a police station when there were many school children present.

With all this press, one would think that only Muslims are capable of terrorist attacks.  You’d think they have a patent on terrorism.

I can see why some, with their “Holier than Thou” mentality, apathy towards current events, and general lack of caring for anyone outside their own inner circle, not to mention another nationality or faith, would see only this part of terror.  That’s because this terror is directed at us.

However, in the same two months:

·         August 3, 2010 – Derry, Northern Ireland.  A car bomb explodes outside PSNI station.  Irish extremists.

·         August 4, 2010 – Bangor, Northern Ireland.  A bomb was found under a soldier's car in Bangor. The army carried out a controlled explosion.  Irish extremists.

·         August 10, 2010 – Cookstown, Northern Ireland.  A car-bomb partially exploded under a PSNI civilian worker's car. He escaped uninjured.  Irish extremists.

·         August 12, 2010 – Bogota, Colombia.  A suspected car bomb has exploded near the studios of a major radio station in the north of the Colombian capital, Bogota.  Columbian extremists.

·         August 14, 2010 – Lurgan, Northern Ireland.  Three children are injured when a "no-warning" bomb exploded in a bin, in what the PSNI claim was an attempt to "kill police or injure police officers providing a service to this community as they responded to a neighboring area following a very vague warning that a device had been left at a local school.  Irish extremists.

·         August 17, 2010 – Vladikavkaz, North Ossetia.  Two policeman were killed and three others injured by a suicide bomber.  Chechnyan extremists.

·         September 10, 2010 – Copenhagen, Denmark. In an incident suggested to be terror-related aimed at Danish newspaper Morgenavisen Jyllands-Posten's office in Aarhus, a man of Chechnyan origin allegedly caused an explosion in the basement of a Copenhagen hotel.  Chechnyan extremists.

Many Americans don’t see this.  They don’t care that non-Americans are dying all around the world at the hands of some extremist group or another.

However, when presented with these facts, many Americans are naïve enough to believe that the problem is caused by the Muslim, or the Irish, or the Chechnyan , or the Columbian.  They are too naïve to see that the problem is the EXTREMIST and not the nationality or faith.

As a result, they become the American Extremist!

The American Extremist doesn’t care that Muslims are killing Muslims, and Palestinians are killing Jews, and Irish are killing Irish, and Columbians are killing Columbians, and Chechnyans are killing Russians.  He only sees that “Muslims extremists” are killing Americans.  Therefore, Muslims must be the enemy because they are too lazy to get past the first word.

He doesn’t see that Muslims are part of their everyday life.  He doesn’t see them working at their favorite Starbucks, restaurant, market, Mc Donald, and their own job.  He doesn’t see them at all.

The problem is not the Muslim, or the Irish, etc.  The problem is the EXTREMISTS and this idiot’s solution is to become the extremist himself.  And as any red blooded American would do, they turn to government to ban the enemy.  Don’t let them build a mosque!  Don’t let them wear their headdress!  Don’t let them be American!

What they don’t realize is that every time we give government the power to ban something we don’t like, we give government the power to ban something we do like.  If we ask government to ban a whole group because of the actions of a few of its members, we give government the power to ban something we hold dear because someone else asked.

Ban gun ownership, abortions, alcohol sales, religion, internet purchases, etc.  These are all things some group or another has asked government to ban recently.  Is that what we want?

You have my wholehearted support if you want to tell the world that you are an AMERICAN, but we don’t want to become EXTREMISTS, American or otherwise.

Fahrenheit 451

So I read about the Reverend Terry Jones of Gainsville, FL. He’s organizing a “National Burn-a-Quran Day”. Their plan is to burn copies of the Quran on September 11th.

There is so much to say on both sides of this equation that I don’t know where to start. But here it goes.

The Muslim extremists in the world are trying to spread the word all over the world that all Americans are Muslim haters. This yahoo in Florida is trying to help them convince all the anti-Americans in the world that they are right.

Without a doubt, Jones will find a following because of the severe lack of common sense running rampant in our society. By encouraging the idiot throng to burn copies of the Quran, he will undoubtedly alienate thousands of moderate Muslims and fuel the rhetoric of the extremists.

And to what end? Do he and his followers really think this is in some way productive? What possible impact can he make by burning a book when the people he’s trying to hurt are out killing thousands of innocents with car bombs and IEDs?

These extremists are people who believe that a reward awaits them in heaven for killing innocent people in suicide attacks. These are people who hold absolutely no value for human life, be it their own or others. What purpose does it serve to burn a book, when they don’t value human life?

Of course, many intelligent people are voicing their concern and are attempting to discourage this display of obviously misguided hatred in an effort to calm the masses. These include people from Obama (no surprise here) to political and religious leaders all over the world. However, while these people are mentioned in passing in our media, the larger part of most articles focuses on the idiot and his followers. Not that anyone would notice articles advocating peace, understanding, and tolerance, because those things don’t really sell papers or air time.

So what is there to gain? Well, Jones received more news coverage in a couple of months because of this stunt than he would have received in several lifetimes. I wouldn’t be surprised if he called it off at the last minute, now that he’s had his 15 minutes of fame.

In fact, Jones said in an interview with USA Today that he had not been contacted by the White House, State Department, or Pentagon. If such a call comes, he said, "That would cause us to definitely think it over. That's what we're doing now. I don't think a call from them is something we would ignore." It sounds to me that what he wants is a direct line to the White House.

So now let’s look at the other side of the equation. The side that will be offended because these idiots plan to burn copies of the Quran “which Muslims consider the word of God and should be treated with the utmost respect.” Well, Christians consider the Bible to be the word of God and as such should be treated with the utmost respect too, but I’m sure most Christians, including me, would not be going off half cocked if someone was threatening to burn Bibles.

People! While the words in it are sacred, the Quran (and the Bible) is a book. A book with millions of copies in print and which can be reproduced on a whim. If it was the only copy on stone tablets, I would be right up front with you trying to prevent this sacrilege. However, it is a book and we can go out and buy another copy.

To me this is no different than flag burners (see my note originally published on Facebook on August 17, 2010 and published here on August 28, 2010, entitled “Certain Inalienable Rights”). While I find the burning of the flag distasteful, and I believe that my flag represents my country and the lives of those that gave theirs for it, it is a piece of cloth.

The words, meaning, and symbolism of the Quran, the Bible, the flag, the US Constitution, and a number of other items live in our hearts. They have no significance whatsoever without us. It is our belief, our faith, and the inspiration we draw from these items that have value. Without us, these things are nothing more than paper, ink, and cloth.

So let these misguided zealots burn the flag (like so many America haters do overseas all the time) or burn copies of the Bible or the Quran. They will never burn our soul. As long as we draw breath, those symbols will live and no amount of fire or stupidity can change that.

What's Love Got To Do With It?

“IT'S BROTHER’S WEEK...If you have a brother who has made you laugh...” Awwww!


“Your son will hold your hand for a little while, but will hold your heart for a lifetime. It's National "Son's Week" so...” Awwww!

“IT’S SISTER’S WEEK...If you have a sister who’s been your friend...” Awwww!

Really? Have we gotten to the point in our society where we’re too busy to love one another except for one week a year? Have we become so desensitized to our loved ones that we have to be reminded that we have them and should be grateful for them? When did this happen? Is it universal?

Coming from a large Cuban family where it takes us 30 minutes to say hello and another 30 minutes to say goodbye, I think I can safely say it is not universal.

It takes us that long because we have to go around and hug every shoulder and kiss every cheek, and if someone’s in the bathroom, you wait for them.

We don’t do this so they won’t talk about us after we leave. We don’t do this because our parents insisted as children. We don’t do this because we’d hurt someone’s feelings if we missed them. We don’t do this because there’s always the possibility that it may be our last hug and kiss. Although these are all good reasons (specially the last one), we have other reasons.

We do this because we have a real sense of affection for each of them. We do it because we understand that each of them has played a part in our life and have enriched our lives in one way or another. We do it because of the eternal bond we feel through the shared adventures of our lives. We do it because we understand the fragile nature of life and how horrible we’d feel if they left this world without that last hug and kiss. WE DO IT BECAUSE WE LOVE THEM!

And with all this affection you’d think we check birth certificates at the door. In fact, the exact opposite is true. Everyone that comes to our party or our home is treated in the exact same way. You walk through those doors and you’re one of us.

And heaven forbid you’re not used to being hugged and kissed on entering or exiting a home! You will be in for the most excruciating, uncomfortable, and confusing 30 minutes of your life. It will be an excruciating experience because of your discomfort at being hugged and kissed by strangers, but it will be confusing because of the genuine affection you will feel from everyone.

A little over 20 years ago, my wife experienced this challenge for the first time. While having come from a large affectionate family, she was not used to the immediate acceptance and show of affection from everyone she just met. The same happened to my daughter-in-law when she joined our family. The nice thing is that they are both now quite used to it and would feel the same sense of abandonment I would feel if one of my relatives didn’t hug me and kiss my cheek on arrival and departure.

To us it is so simple. We genuinely care for each other and express that affection every time we communicate.

I personally end every conversation (whether in person, by phone, by e-mail, by IM, or by text) with my wife, my children, my daughter-in-law, my parents, and just about all of my other relatives with an “LY” or an “I Love you”. I don’t care if we are related by blood, marriage, or coincidence. This is how I grew up relating to those around me. I tend to hesitate a little with those that I’m not related to and therefore may not be used to it, but I feel no less of a connection to them as I do with my relatives.

So what is the difference?

The difference is that in our upbringing and in our lives we were always taught to act this way. As children we always asked; “Do I have to kiss Aunt Hairychin? Her beard tickles.” And the answer was always the same. “Yes! Hairy chin or not, she is your aunt and she loves you.” So this is the same message I conveyed to my children. Hairy chin or not, she is your aunt and one day you will understand the impact she had in your life. And we learned by example. We watched our parents go around the room hugging every shoulder and kissing every cheek, even Aunt Hairychin, and we did the same.

Why is this so difficult for some? Why are some people so totally opposed to PDAs (Public Displays of Affection)?

I don’t know why, but I hope it changes. Without these PDAs, love is sure to stay “a second hand emotion!”

LY